Annick Blogs: Munich Break Down
 
This is it: I think I am having a nervous breakdown. I am in a restaurantin Munich with my fingers wrapped around a far too expensive cup of tea and my moble phone plugged into a charger. This is very important because I am waiting for a very urgent phone call. I have been stalking someone from the Munich Zoo. He must put an ad in the zoo newsletter for me.

I am in Munich on a mission. On a mission to find old footage of Ivo from his early days in Hellabrun zoo. I have talked to people at the German channels. Called them, emailed them, sent them letters. But finding a
baby gorilla in a German archive is like finding a needle in a haystack.
No one knows how to find it. BUT IT IS THERE! I AM SURE OF IT! SOMEONE MUST HAVE FILMED IVO!

My perseverence has brought me a lot this year. I found stories and found the people that could tell the stories. I got things done. But now, after looking for this footage for over a year…. 
I start to doubt myself. How long should I continue looking? Does the footage really excist? Or am I fooling myself?

My head doesn’t stop thinking. My body is tense. For months now I catch myself pulling up my shoulders. And then forcing them back down. Just to find them at ear height again with the next brain wave.
The time it takes to make a film is long. So long! The problem is not so much time itself but the loss of momentum. My focus and my thoughts change all the time at this stage. New ideas keep popping up in my head as I am still making the film. Too many ideas! Should I use them in my film? Or shouldn't I? Will the film lose its focus when I do so?
PFFFFFFFF
I am sooo tired....
Thursday February 8th 2007